I do not mean that I am already as God wants me to be. I have not yet reached that goal, but I continue trying to reach it and to make it mine. Christ wants me to do that, which is the reason he made me his. Brothers and sisters, I know that I have not yet reached that goal, but there is one thing I always do. Forgetting the past and straining toward what is ahead, I keep trying to reach the goal and get the prize for which God called me through Christ to the life above.I've got a dark past.
Philippians 3:12-14 NCV
Some of you know. Some of you don't.
What matters is that I'm better now. I'm a better person. I am now actively striving to be the best person that I can be. I try to be a good, kind Christian woman. I work to be cheerful and happy and loving. I want to be strong and happy and pure. Hopefully, this is what you see.
What you don't know is that everyday I'm haunted by the past. Will people find out about it? Will they judge me for it? Will I become enslaved by the darkness of sin and depression again? I'm so afraid of the wrong person knowing these things. Using them against me. Ruining the good reputation that I've tried to build...despite the past mistakes.
I've gotta get through that. I cannot let my past (my own mistakes and sins) hinder me from the prize. The goal. I've asked for forgiveness. I've repented...turned my life around. Stopped living in sin.
As Paul says, I'm not there yet. I have not reached the goal. I am not perfect. I have not acquired my heavenly crown. But I've come a long way.
I can do it. Just forget the past. Look forward. Eyes on the Prize.
1 comments:
You can't live your life in the past. Paul certainly didn't. Remember, there are no perfect people in this world. Falling short gives you the gift of compassion for others, if you allow it to. Keep going forward, with heaven as your goal. =)
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