My place.

I just want to work for the church. That's all.

Often times, my job gets in the way of serving the church. I have to go to work to pay for rent and utilities and gas and groceries...

When I would much rather be a camp counselor. Or making cards and gift baskets for the sick and shut in. Or creating curriculum.

I could be a missionary. That would probably require moving which I don't want to do. I could marry a rich guy and quit my job to volunteer...but that won't be for several years.

It's times like this that I become frustrated about the "women's roles in the church." I can't be a preacher or a youth minister or a deacon. Can't I just be like Anna who lived in the temple and spent her days worshiping God? Except, I want to serve. I'm ACHING to serve. I'm craving new things to do for the Lord.

Right now, I don't have a solution. But someday I will. And no matter what, God will take care of me.

Until then, I'm taking suggestions. :-)

Being Meh

People accuse me of being dramatic a lot.

I choose to call it passionate...my boyfriend says I'm enthusiastic.

You get the point.

In my eyes, almost everything is of some importance. I don't see how others go through life being so....meh...

(For those of you that are not "in the know," meh is a slang term meaning indifferent or apathetic.)

So many people that I know go along without excitement or joy. They just survive. They don't really LIVE.

That's unfortunate.

It reminds me of the lukewarm Christians at Laodicea in Revelation 3. They were neither hot nor cold. Like the "mehs" of today are neither joyful nor hateful.

It's the worst.

We all have something to be happy about. Jesus died for us. He was raised. And He's coming back for us! That's the reason for my passionate lifestyle. I'm just trying to wait on the Lord. Why should I be apathetic. There's something AMAZING going on for me.

Don't you?

On earth.

I haven't blogged in a while. I've been a little busy.

I got a "new" car. Leased a "new" apartment. And began a relationship with an AMAZING fellow.

Whew. Makes me tired just thinking about it. But let me tell you...this has improved my life 110%!

For the first time in a long time...I feel at home on earth. I know that's not entirely a good thing. Heaven is my permanent home and I want to get there more than anything. I've just lost that uncomfortable feeling...the feeling that I don't I have a place or a purpose.

I have friends who are getting engaged, married, pregnant, and having babies...I have a wonderful boyfriend who adores me as much as I adore him...I have 2 jobs that I love...I have opportunities to serve the Lord and help others.

Yeah. God has been too kind to me. I don't deserve this.

I will continue to rely on Him. Trust Him. Adore Him. Because with Him...my life on earth is better. I can only imagine how amazing heaven will be.