Letting Go

I'm usually super organized. And not cluttered. And not messy.

I used to keep my email inbox at 20 emails or less. I was very prompt and regular in cleaning it out.

And then last year happened. And I couldn't bring myself to clean out my email anymore. There were just too many memories. Good and bad.

It just hurt too much to erase all of that.

And my email kept growing and growing. I deleted spam and things. But I kept everything else. Just in case.

And then I started keeping things because I knew that if I started cleaning out my email, eventually I'd get to the end. The haunting end where all of those skeletons were.

It would hurt. To know that things aren't the same as they were then.

I was hoarding. Hoarding in my email account. Because I didn't want to let go.

I recently told Jonathan about this. It was really getting to me that I have over 600 emails in my inbox.

So he sat by me. During the 1st Quarter of the UT/LSU game. And I removed the bad emails. Then all of the other ones. It wasn't hard. Partly because he was here. Partly because I was paying attention to the game. (Have you seen this game? It's intense.)

And now it's empty. 16 emails. None from that bad time. And I'm free. I let go. :-)